10 ways to win any argument
How to get your own way
Surely those who win arguments win because they are in the right? If you believe that then you’ve probably been losing most of your fights. To win you don’t necessarily have to be right, you simply have to be armed with the right tactics. Yet, if you missed the seminar about persuasive tactics that everyone else around you seemed to have attended, then read on and discover 10 ways you can in an argument.
Help them out
If you want to win any argument you need to make sure that you help the person you are battling with. Although it sounds odd, studies have found that if you give something to someone first they are more likely to be more generous to you in return. So, if you want to win an argument with your partner, for example, tell them that you’ll pay for dinner and then hit them with the fact that you’re moving three hundred miles away for a new job... Good luck with that one by the way.
To win any argument you need to be as socially slick as the next American president. One of the most basic and effective social skills that can be used to help you win any argument is maintaining good eye contact. Make sure that during the argument you repeatedly look your opponent in the eyes, especially when you are stating your case.
The most common way people lose in arguments is when they stop thinking logically and pour their emotions into wild accusations and false claims. Suggesting that your boyfriend has not slept in the same bed as you in years when they actually slept with you last weekend immediately weakens your argument and belittles your stand. Avoid over-exaggeration and your argument will gain strength.
Sometimes highlighting your weaknesses makes you stronger. A study looked at letters from job applicants and found that the most successful candidates revealed their weakness and followed this by stating their main strength. Researchers believe that those who talked about their weaknesses were considered more trustful than those who did not and were therefore more successful. Use this method in your arguments and you should win every time.
If someone tells you to buy a broken washing machine you are unlikely to take them up on their advice. Yet if someone tells you to buy a broken washing machine because if you don’t you might lose money, you are far more likely to buy the faulty washer. This basic principle can help you to win any argument because it demonstrates that highlighting the losses the other person may suffer as a result of not doing as you want is powerful and will encourage them to take on your viewpoint.
If you’ve ever waded into an argument with someone who is not being clear about what they want or what they are disputing, you’ll know how easy it is to beat them. Do not be that person. To win any argument you have to be clear. Give your argument structure and do not speak for the sake of speaking. To keep your argument focused state your point and then back your point up with one or two pieces of evidence.
A great way to win any argument without coming to blows is to counter argue. Think about who you are battling with and consider what they might say in retaliation to your point. Then, before they are able to raise these issues, tell them that you’ve thought about their opinion and that although X may be a problem the solution is Y.
Think back to past arguments you have had and lost. If you became angry during these fights then chances are you did not get your own way. When you lose your temper you become irrational, erratic and inarticulate; all of the qualities that will disarm you in a fight. The next time you get into an argument try to consider it as if it was simply a discussion. Make sure you breathe and never raise your voice. Sticking to these instructions and staying calm will transform your stance and make the other person listen to you.
If daytime TV has taught us anything it’s that hard-up actors playing witty lawyers only win arguments using facts. Do not dare to enter into an argument unless you have first listed out some key facts that will help you to back up your point. For example, if your partner accuses you of never cleaning up gently point out that you did in fact clean the house three weeks ago and that you’ve been working late and so haven’t had the time to clean too.
Think about those times when you’ve been persuaded to buy a product that you didn’t really need. How did they convince you to buy the item? Chances are they used persuasive words to change your way of thinking. Like the advertisers, you can use persuasive words to change the perspective of the person you are arguing with. For example, if you want to go on vacation but your partner does not, set the scene. Talk about lazy afternoons on the beach, icy cocktails and passionate nights in your hotel room.