Gabby Logan's Blog by Gabby_Logan

I just had one of those holidays which physically change you, and no I don't mean a plastic surgery break to Cape Town! I have never needed a break more, since my new show on Channel 5 'Live With Gabby' launched last June, I have been working flat out with only a few days off in August. And once the football season got underway, I was on the six day a week schedule, which at the time felt normal and 'do-able', but clearly I was shattered.

So I fell asleep on the plane before we even took off and spent most of the first day taking cat naps. Luckily the kids have reached the kind of age where running around a tennis court or splashing for three hours solid in the pool is their idea of heaven, especially if they are making new pals in the process. By day two I felt like exercising and began to get some colour back into my cheeks, feeling the sun warm your skin and getting 8 hours sleep a night is a perfect tonic.

But more than all of those things, I think that breaking the daily routine and having long conversations with your kids and husband often about nothing much at all, is so healthy. At home even though we have family dinner together 5 times a week at least, we are always working on table manners (which to the kids probably sounds like nagging) or talking about school and generally organising each other. But reading for fun, (not for work) and drinking a glass of Rose with lunch, swimming in the sea and having the best Thai massage ever, should all see me through to Christmas. I am hoping the effects of this holiday will last longer than the tan. I am pretty sure nobody ever died wishing they had taken fewer holidays!

I am nursing a rotten cold. It was so wet and ugly yesterday that when I picked my little boy up from karate he said; “I don’t want you to die mum”. My right eye was like a cascading waterfall of tears, and I am not being melodramatic, okay maybe just a little bit. I was actually reassured by my son's words as we’d had a blazing row before school over him not wanting to brush his teeth (yes it feels and looks ridiculous when you write it down). And you never know how long a six-year-old will bear a grudge like that. So in an attempt to get through my show Live With Gabby (we are on every week day at 11.10am on Channel 5) and be able to carry on being the only parent at home this week, my husband is away, I have been dosing up on Sudafed and I even went to bed having consumed Night Nurse.

The last time I did this 3 years ago I swore that I’d never touch the stuff again, because it left me with such a rotten head the next day that I didn’t feel the benefit of the sleep. This time I tried the tablets and I don’t feel as groggy, but I am wandering round and round in something of a jet lag style haze. I can only imagine that this is a bit how functioning addicts feel. When I read about people who manage to hold down a job and be a parent when they are consuming £100 worth of drugs a day, I am always amazed.

I can hardly work if I have had two glasses of wine the night before. I suppose your norm becomes different and it's how you learn to exist in that drugged up state. I am so keen to be at optimum health all the time that I feel quite low when I get ill. I noticed yesterday (and others probably did too) that I was grumpy and negative, which is not like me. I figured that I must be chemically imbalanced because of the sickness and then the tablets I am taking.

Exercise would help but it's the last thing I actually feel like doing. I had to cancel a session with the amazing Russian trainer Marina today, which is just about the hardest thing to do as I love our sessions. But I think I may keel over if I even look at my trainers. In other news the show is going well and we are getting some great experts and guests. I grew up listening to and reading Anna Raeburn so to have her on as an Agony Aunt last week was such a treat, although she hates the term Agony Aunt. I think I have persuaded her that it's retro and therefore cool. She speaks so much sense, gave wonderful advice and has such vitality and energy. She won’t thank me for saying this, but I want to be like her when I grow up.

The England former prop Matt Hampson came on my show this week. If you don't know who Matt Hampson is, then may I suggest get your hands on a copy of his extraordinary book Engage. It is written by the brilliant sports journalist and author Paul Kimmage. The reason Matt couldn't write the book himself is because 6 years ago he was training with the England under 21 rugby team, the scrum collapsed and he lay at the bottom of it unable to move. He woke up about ten days later and he has never been able to move anything below the neck since. He then spent 18 months in hospital.

You may have read extracts from his book which have appeared in various newspapers. If you have, then you will have had a taste of the bravery, humility and humour that has been the make up of this incredible man. Meeting him was a humbling experience. Watching him navigate his large wheelchair with his chin, and hearing his joy at talking about the little things that make him happy (going for a drive in the car, watching the trees in his garden and having lunch with his brother-in-law). It was all so perversely cruel that we met on the very day that the England rugby team had arrived in New Zealand ahead of the Rugby World Cup. He is 26 years old now and his early promise for the under 21's could easily have developed into a full-blown international career by now.

One of his best mates who was in that Under 21 team is James Haskell, who is out in New Zealand and will feature for England. Life is cruel, that's what I kept thinking, but Matt won't let himself dwell on that too much, but it is so bloody cruel. Little things really don't matter. We all know that we get worked up about things that will get blown over by the next day. I promised myself I would never moan about the little things again as I sat in Matt's presence. But of course I will. At some point in the next week I will forget my promise and moan about my bum being too big, or some other ridiculous thing and I dislike it that I know this already.

The book allows Matt's dreams and hallucinations to come alive, the images of a different future which cruelly taunt him in his darker moments. It is a dramatic account of a young man going from brilliance and a golden life to disability and the ensuing struggle, in the blink of an eye. I watched my kids playing on an indoor climbing frame the next day. I watched their clever bodies moving effortlessly around the slides and the tunnels and I imagined what life is like for Matt Hampson’s parents and of course I cried. He doesn't want our pity, but life can be bloody cruel.

Hello again! It's been a busy summer of work so far. It was supposed to be a chilled out one after I left BBC Radio 5 Live, but I took on an irresistible proposition. My new show, which follows The Wright Stuff on Five and is called The Wright Stuff Extra, is now almost 8 weeks old, which means I have done 40 shows already! I can’t believe how quickly the time has flown! From the first conversations about the show with the production company, to getting the show on air took three weeks and it's been a work in progress ever since. I say irresistible because it is a mixture of incredible real-life inspiring guests to celebrities and campaigning films.

And then the last part is a phone-in with a different expert every day. I am having so much fun with the content and working with some really lovely, talented people. The timing of the show means I am finished by lunchtime every day, so I've had the afternoons free to hang out with the kids or more usually, act as a taxi, picking them up from tennis/golf/gymnastics/swimming or drama. My kids are now six which has opened up a whole new world of summer activities and they have made the most of it. I am thrilled they want to try these sports, but I am no closer to knowing if they are going to have a sporting future.

On picking my son up from tennis every day last week, my husband and I were generally greeted with; “He’s a talented athlete and he’d be very good at tennis if he’d (different word for each coach) concentrate/focus or listen”. Apparently by day 5 he sat down on the court and told the coach he was tired. The well meaning young man asked the question; “Did you not sleep well last night?” “No,” my son replied “I am tennis tired”. He then spent most of the weekend in his karate suit practising his moves round the house and when I went in to kiss him goodnight last night he was sweaty, I nervously asked why. “I have just done 30 push ups and I have just been practising my karate moves,” he explained with a big aren’t you pleased grin. People assume because Kenny and I competed internationally at sport that we want our kids to follow suit. But I really don’t care what they do as long as they enjoy it.

Of course I want them to be healthy, so I do encourage movement, but that can mean anything from a bike ride to walking the dog. As for me well exercise has been crammed into 30 minute sessions while Marina the amazing Russian trainer is away. I have found a combination of exercises which I can do in a hotel room or in my bedroom when I don’t have much time, which seems to be keeping everything in place until I can start exercising again properly. The start of the football season has added to the time pressures in the last few weeks. We did manage a week in Spain but I had to leave the holiday on the Friday to come back and prep Final Score for the Saturday. So I left Kenny and the kids to enjoy the sun for a few more days. My son said; “You always leave holiday early...that’s because they can’t start the football season without you”. If you see him please don’t tell him the truth.....