When the s**t goes down
Nov2020092:46 p.m.
This is a not so healthy post from me as just recovering from the worst, and I mean the worst case of explosive diarrhoea – ever. And that’s a pretty tall order, as in the past I have been the not so proud owner of Entamoeba histolytica – a right nasty bug which brought on a bout of Amoebic dysentery. So, I am no stranger to slack stools, but, believe me this was something else.
Now, I will apologise in the outset, but when these things happen, it’s like you have got to tell people, as you can’t actually believe it’s possible. So, if you are on the queasy side, or indeed about to sip a hot chocolate, you might want to stop reading now.
So here’s the story, after a few days off at home I was ready to get back to realbuzz HQ. Plus I was desperately missing Dan’s happy face and Simon’s ‘Quality Street’ shirts. So, after a normal brekkie, feeling totally fine and dandy, I hopped into my car and hit the road.
All was going fine until I got half way, I took a gulp of water and that seems to ignite something in me. At this point it was like a fairly urgent warning indicating I was definitely going to need a ‘moment to myself’ within the next five minutes. This time scale was well off, as about 10 seconds later it was like ‘Oh my God, something is very, very wrong’. The rest of the journey was spent travelling at breakneck speed, concentrating desperately not to let go, as well as racking my brains for any available opportunity that would bring relief. These were; the Park and Ride, a tennis club and, when things got really bad, a passing child’s Ben 10 lunch box.
Unbelievably, I got to the office, avoided all good morning pleasantries, headed for the little girls room, and then the bomb literally went off. But this is there I will leave it, shows over.
It did spark a multitude of ‘When I had the shits’ stories from other realbuzz.com employees – my favourite being the one involving a kilt. So, has something similar happened you? I want to know – don’t hold back. But talk about losing weight for Christmas, at this rate you’ll be able to fit me in a cracker!
Have a great weekend
Kirstie McInSplash
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Comments (9)
Simon_Doyle 'Kirstie, I'm disappointed you didn't title your blog 'When the shit hits the pan' or 'Flushed with success'.' added 20th Nov 2009
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craigbeat 'Could be worse, Simon - it could have been 'When the sh*t goes sideways'' added 20th Nov 2009
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Johnf 'Oh god, when I lived in Germany, and occasionally drank for England, there were some occasions which actually are too awful to tell. Nothing to do with any amoeba! But one I can tell of a mate of mine who had a lapse when we were playing football and used his full up Sloggies in the showers to get his own back on somebody! Actually I can remember an incident involving him in a curry house and the hot face towels now I think of it! He's still a good mate, I just know when to duck!' added 20th Nov 2009
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alf_tupper 'Kirstie can shite in my cuboard anytime ' added 20th Nov 2009
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Kirstie_McIntosh 'Thanks Alf, you really are a gentleman. And John F - I don't feel so bad about my s**t story now I know it's quite normal to have a repertoire of a few.' added 21st Nov 2009
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jamieB 'A really s**t post but in a good way. I've always like the honest way you write... All I can add to this is that Shitalot Bran always does it for me... I think I've read everything at Realbuzz now!' added 21st Nov 2009
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Account_closed 'I suppose a "S**t happens" title would have been very philosophical way of looking at it. But sounds pretty horrible. Having driven for two hours at breakneck speed whilst dying for a .... *ahem* ....... slash, I know that horrible feeling of dread when a slow driver appears in front of you. Amazed you made it in one piece.' added 21st Nov 2009
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alf_tupper 'shite in my cuboard ' dont know why ur upset round where I cum from thats considrered a compliment ' added 21st Nov 2009
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Kirstie_McIntosh 'Not upset at all Alf ! And Jamie - glad you like my style, I'll keep it up. Finally MB, I think I need to reduce the water drinking as your story tends to happen to me daily.' added 23rd Nov 2009
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