Time Out by Simon_Doyle

If you are at a loose end this weekend and are disappointed that Ben Hur didn't feature on your recent festive viewing, you could do worse than head to the smallest town in Britain.

For this Saturday sees the World Mountain Bike Chariot Racing Championships held in Llanwrtyd Wells when loads of crazy bastards will attempt to pull a chariot as fast as they can in a race against the clock.

Now you'd have to think that having two bikes linked together pulling one chariot is a recipe for disaster, but doing it in this snow? - that's got to be something for Jackass or Dirty Sanchez to get involved with. What are you doing this weekend Johnny Knoxville?

A look at the rules and conditions for the event provides cause for concern, especially when there are prizes for the best Roman costume. Apparently 'all participants must wear suitable protective clothing, including headgear' and 'must be properly equipped to deal with inclement weather' plus they 'must not indulge in any actions which may endanger the safety of themselves or others'.

You'd have to say this kinda rules out dressing up like a toga-clad idiot with just a laurel crown for protective headgear, and then jumping on a mountainbike and pulling some fat-assed charioteer in the bloody snow then, wouldn't it? 

For those who are about to die (either of hypothermia, embarrassment, or through a nasty chariot accident) we salute you!