Well I was hoping to post this blog first thing this morning, but if I tell you that this is the first time I have felt able to actually get up the stairs to my office, you will get some idea of how stiff my body is feeling after my introduction to Zumba. I suppose it’s my own fault for having unreasonable expectations.I strolled nonchalantly into the class last night with ambitious visions of the next hour. I imagined myself and my dancing bearing some resemblance to Jennifer Beals in Flashdance or that dance teacher (Lydia Grant) in Fame who used to shout at everyone and call them ‘people’.

The reality was more Bella Emberg and every single one of the Roly Polys. And I’m not joking. Because we were slightly late, (my fault entirely – I was obsessing over what to wear), I found myself near the front of an enormous dance studio with wall-to-ceiling mirrors. Consequently I kept catching a glimpse of this monstrosity in pink with a purple face, dancing hopelessly out of step. It took me 10 minutes to realise I was staring back at myself. But to be honest I had so many problems by that stage, that was the least of my worries.

After the first 3 and a half minutes I turned to my dear friend April, who was bopping pluckily behind me and uttered the immortal words, “I think we might have made a mistake.......” Not that we didn’t enjoy it. Oh no, it was fantastic. It was just very hard to get to grips with the moves. The steps weren’t that intricate, it was just hard to make your feet move in the way you wanted them to, oh and in time to the music and with your arms and legs doing different things. At one point you had to shake your groove thing and shall we just say for the purposes of decorum, your maracas. Well I caught sight of myself in the mirror again and I actually looked like a moving 5lb bag of potatoes........I also think any pelvic floor I might have had left after 2 children has now totally collapsed.......

After great reflection I think the problem for me is simple. I’m not exactly light on my feet. As a PE teacher said to me when I was 9 and trying to do a headspring off the pommel horse; “Oh Sue, well tried, but you are a bit of a heffalump.......” Many years later I often think of that story and want to slap that woman in the face with a wet kipper, but I kind of know what she meant. Light and graceful I ain’t and even though I thought I was co-ordinated, clearly I am not.

The music was amazing and you couldn’t help but try your best to pick up the moves with a huge smile on your face. There were 17 of us in the class with ages ranging from 20’s to 50’s. And the teacher was incredible. She looked a little like Shakira and boy can she move. As Bruno Tonioli would say, she uses her hips like lethal weapons. It was one of the most feel-good fitness experiences I have ever had. But I think you need to spend time in a few classes before you really start to pick it up. But I will certainly be doing that. April and I have already picked a return date next week and even though it was hard to decide which of us was redder and smelt the worst after yesterday’s bold attempt, we will be back.

http://www.zumba.com/us/