One of the joys of my various jobs, is that I get to watch a lot of sport for a living, which I must tell you is a real treat. And over the years, either in person, or on the TV, I like to think I have seen most things come and go. But one of the joys of sport, is its never-ending ability to surprise you.

Take this weekend for instance. I was stopped in my tracks by a news report on the Heineken Cup match between Leicester and Ospreys. Well it was a 32-all thriller, but the thing that really caught my eye and ear was the name of Leicester’s points-scoring hero Billy Twelvetrees. Yes that’s right. Twelvetrees. Not eleven or thirteen, but twelve. Is it me, or is that a faintly absurd name for a sporting hero?

Now I mean no disrespect to our Billy, I really don’t. Anyway I should know about silly surnames. I have one myself and trust me, I have lost years of my life trying to explain to people how my name is spelt. Inevitably it comes back as Teale, or Thurle, or Turl, or even in one instance Swirl... So I like to think that Billy and I are name soul mates on this one. But really. Twelvetrees?

It prompted my husband and I to begin a furious debate about the silliest names in sport. Graham Onions and Phil Mustard take the cricketing biscuit, although Arnold Sidebottom and his son Ryan, also stake a claim. Peter Winterbottom continues the bottom theme and another former England rugby union star Austin Healey isn't ideal either.

In football who could forget Danny S--ttu, Stefan Kuntz or Nw--kwo Kanu, which obviously became just Kanu to you and me. But the great thing about this game is, once you start, you really can’t stop. So do let me know any silly names you can think of. Come on, it’s a Monday. Let’s waste some valuable work time and cheer each other up.......

Tags: Heineken Cup, Leicester, Ospreys, Billy Twelvetrees, Graham Onions, Austin Healey, Kanu

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