Taper tantrum
Apr0220116:26 p.m.
Well. We're two weeks away. And out I go with big ideas in my head of how many miles I am going to manage, but my legs, my body and my sheer grit have other ideas.
Five miles in I find myself on the phone, tears streaming down my face, trying desperately to conquer a brick wall that has suddenly erected itself around my confidence and positivity about this marathon. I feel sorry for way_too_slow because he had to put up with my sobbings - and he was awesome at helping me calm down and get some perspective. Thinking I was going to run 20 miles two weeks before the actual thing was probably thinking slightly too big and my body aches, my legs, ache, my spirit aches...geez. So all I managed was 10 miles and they felt like a mammoth task for me today. 19 miles felt much easier than this. It doesn't make ANY BLOODY SENSE.
I don't cry often, but I feel...pretty low right now. The day is nearing and I am beginning to just feel a big weight on my shoulders. A lot of people have given a lot of money as sponsorship for me to do this and the whole enormity of it is finally settling down like silt on a riverbed. That may be a crap analogy, I am not sure. Sod it, it's staying in...
Why do I feel so bloody emotional?! I hate feeling like this. I am a rational lawyer, for goodness sake. I need to get some perspective...so, dear readers, allow me to do this in lawyery bullet points:
1. I have managed a 19 mile run.
2. My training has been steadily improving, bar a couple of shit runs which felt like a proverbial kick in the pants (but those are expected).
3. I have had a massive amount of support
4. If a marathon was easy, everyone would do it. Instead, people look at you like you're mad when you tell them. Perhaps they're right. It's insane.
5. I have been able to eat lots of carbs.
Hmm.
Ok, I am going out to see some friends to try and pull myself out of this over-analytical funk I am sat in right now. Positive advice will be gratefully received.
Sorry to be such a grumpy pants so close to the actual day...
CP xx
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Comments (10)
Way_Too_Slow 'Firstly, glad to have helped! That's why I said to phone me if you needed to!! As I've said before, running a marathon is mental - in more ways than one!! If I remember rightly back last year, I ached solidly for the last month before the VLM. You've been increasing your mileage every week for a while now and your body is just saying enough is enough! 20 miles is too much 2 weeks before a marathon. You need to taper now and give yourself a chance to recover, then by the 17th you will be raring to go. And to answer your bullet points: 1. You have run 19 miles. My max for my first FLM was 20, only 1 more. 2. Your training has been steadily improving. Everyone is allowed the occasional sh!t run 3. You have got loads of support 4. See above, running a marathon is mental, that's why it's worthwhile. Bet none of your mates could do it! 5. You can eat loads without feeling guilty. What more do you want?? Stop being Miss Grumpy Pants and relax. You WILL do this marathon. I have faith!!' added 2nd Apr 2011
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karobinson 'You've done all the hard work, you've done 19 miles, stop beating yourself up & enjoy your taper, you'll be fine. If it's any consolation my longest run was only 17 miles, so well done!' added 2nd Apr 2011
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theresa_clark 'Well done! You can do it, just think postively' added 2nd Apr 2011
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BiGPoPPa 'Once your body has a rest (it's been training hard!) during your taper your big day will go without hitch. Try not to worry. Adrenalin cures all :)' added 2nd Apr 2011
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Thebandit 'I don't have any to say that hasn't been said in the previous comments. But the best advice on here is to start enjoying yourself from now on in. You've done all the hard work, its time for the payback bit. Just get out there in two weeks time and enjoy the day. Running London is great day, something I wish more people had experienced. The crowds will be awesome. You will love every minute of it. You will finish. I have no doubt.' added 2nd Apr 2011
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gunes 'Awwww please don't beat yourself up, you have done so well and have come this far! Also you have the wonderful support of all the other realbuzzers on here to give you advice! Point 4 I totally agree with if running a Marathon was easy everyone would be doing them! and we all have crap runs every now and then,but I find they just makes the good ones even better :) Trust me you are about to experience one of the most amazing achievements of your life, believe me when you cross that finish line it will be worth every bit of sweat and pain !!! Enjoy the rest of your tapering......' added 2nd Apr 2011
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gunes 'Awwww please don't beat yourself up, you have done so well and have come this far! Also you have the wonderful support of all the other realbuzzers on here to give you advice! Point 4 I totally agree with if running a Marathon was easy everyone would be doing them! and we all have crap runs every now and then,but I find they just makes the good ones even better :) Trust me you are about to experience one of the most amazing achievements of your life, believe me when you cross that finish line it will be worth every bit of sweat and pain !!! Enjoy the rest of your tapering......' added 2nd Apr 2011
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JohnGreg 'Hi when I ran my first marathon 3 years ago. 3 week before VLM on last long run had to phone wife to pick me up only managed 12 miles, having previously done 22. I did do another long run following week to put demons to rest. So don’t worry you will be ok it’s all in the mind. Good luck' added 2nd Apr 2011
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Account_closed 'You'll be fine. Nerves are normal. I have to thank one of the budget airlines & Loch Ness Marathon, who both refused to defer my flight & entry, for forcing me to finally do my first marathon. Good luck.' added 3rd Apr 2011
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onthefloor04 'Don't panic Pix, you've done the hard work, noting you do now will make you stronger or fitter, just tick over, don't panic and believe in yourself.' added 4th Apr 2011
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