One Marathon Task by cyberpixie

Before I go into today's run, I want to just muse on the last 16 weeks a bit. 

I had talked about running a marathon before. I'd done a half marathon in 2009 and so the idea of going a full one had always been on my mind - I like to challenge myself and I like to try new things (unless they involve heights and/or spiders) and so for little-old-me to even contemplate a marathon? Yeah, why the hell not. 

So, I entered the ballot and didn't get in, but that ultimately wasn't really an issue. 

For those of you who have read my justgiving page you will notice that I am running in aid of Pancreatic Cancer UK. A friend of mine died of the disease last year aged 27. Now, I am a trainee solicitor. I have worked in a department where contemplation of mortality was a normal everyday thing - we'd talk about Wills, death, life expectancy as a matter of course. It was very easy to detach myself emotionally from that. Actually, truth be told, I detach myself emotionally from a lot of things, but when I heard Gemma's illness was terminal I did just burst into tears. It seemed so hideously unfair that someone should have to go through something so horrible. 

I have been blessed with a body that - so far - has served me well. Ok, I may have abused it a bit at university, but for the most part it has stood up to it and I am generally in fairly good health. So why not raise money by pushing it to do something not many people think about doing? Why not, indeed. I got an email from Pancreatic Cancer UK in November and immediately jumped at the chance to run for them. The rest, as they say, is history. 

This has been an emotional few months. There have been incredible highs, ridiculous lows, awful runs, brilliant runs, support, encouragement and my own mental battles to overcome so I can see my way through to completing this challenge I have set myself. 

On the way, I have learnt a lot about myself and about other people. I have learnt that I don't need to be pissed to have a good time (I haven't drunk since NYE). I have learnt that people you don't even know, have never met and might not ever meet will support you, sponsor you and encourage you along the way. I have learnt that training for a marathon is mental in more ways than one (thanks Mike - that is the one thing I will never forget about all this). I have also learnt to be easier on myself, to push myself, but not berate  myself when I maybe fall short of my own expectations. To pick myself up and brush myself down and keep on going even when it feels like I am not going to be able to put one foot in front of the other. 

I know that next week I am going to be surrounded by thousands of others whose journey to The Mall would be filled with the same rollercoaster that I have put myself on. The stories, the emotions, the hopes, all converging on that one place, into one mass of people, all with that one singular goal...to get to the finish line. And I want to get to that finish line. 

I have been supported by so many people, given so much advice - especially on here, RealBuzz followers, you have been beyond helpful, with your wisdom, your positive thoughts, your encouragement and your just being here. It's been such a help to know that if I blog about a bad run or a good run, there's someone there who'll cheer with me, commiserate with me but totally understand where I am. That is something that has been a continuous help to me, so thank you to all of you for it. 

Anyway, enough emotional babbling - I shall have enough time for that next week. 

Today's run was an 8.5 miler. A nice distance, actually. The first two miles made me feel sick, don't know why. Probably because I haven't really moved around much this weekend and my internal organs just had a total shock, oh she's running again is she? Well, we're not cooperating for at least 20 minutes. Hmm. Once I'd hit 5-6 miles I felt alright, but it seriously took me that long. Not sure the warmth helped (please god be cooler next week). 

So there you go. My last long(ish) run before the big day next week. 

I have done the training. I have put the miles in (perhaps I could have done more, but there's no time to put any more in really) and I have pushed myself to train in all weathers. I began by training in the depths of snow and ice and have finished up my final run in the early Spring sunshine. As indicative of this journey as anything else, I suspect. 

I will do one more run this week - no more than 3 miles. And then, I hope, I shall be ready. 

Final blog post will be after the big day, I think. 

As they say in all the best action movies, here goes nothin'

CP xxx