The Art of Poor Preparation and Under Achievement

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Bernard Bailey

BernardBailey

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The Art of Poor Preparation and Under Achievement

These idle jottings are for my own amusement, however, I found the discipline of writing to my imaginary friend quite useful whilst preparing for the 2006 London Marathon. I failed to keep the blog up to date for the 2007 Great North Run and I think it would have helped to keep me on track.  GNR 2008 much better as I ran all the way, but now........

I am booked into 2009 Great North Run (Sept 20th), the Royal Parks Half Marathon (Oct 11th) and the Adidas Silverstone Half (March 14th 2010). I am in the ballot for the London Marathon 2010 and currently am determined to run (Charities, start your bidding).

This is all because I'll be 50 in Feb and feel I am due another Mid-Life Crisis as the last one worked out rather well.

I am running the Royal Parks on behalf of Independent Age.

 

Thanks.

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Happy Birthday, Mother aand D...

This weekend they will be an average age of 50 and a half, so there is likely to be more eating than exercise. This is a good thing.  The ladder ordered on 9th April and promised for delivery 'by the end of next week' arrived, as promised, yesterday. 21...

Casting Clouts

It is the ides of May, be there such a thing, and much to report. The shed is built, the digger booked and the beds shortly to be raised. The erstwhile family home is on the market and being met by wave upon wave of lukewarm indifference. The hive is in...

Home Alone

I've done the housework, or as much as I'm going to, and spent some time playing on Real Buzz's 'map your passion' site, pretending that I am about to run 10 miles, and am now listening to number one son laughing at something on the haunted fisht...

Wet and Windy

Two more visits to the hamster factory successfully negotiated. Next two days will be a trial as I have to make friends with people on a formal basis. Never easy. Will try to stay off the wine and limit the food to only wh...

Second Wind

Following the last entry in April 2007 I am happy to report that I have bought a new pair of running shoes that cost more than my first car and have signed up at a new gym. On my first visit I discovered, rather later than would have ...

Off to the Emerald Isle

Sorry not to have been in touch. I've had a few things to deal with since last April. I asked the woman I have always loved to marry me (that was in May),  left the job that I had been in for nearly 20 years, formed a company, failed ...

Follow that Limo!

Had I known it was permissible to take a taxi, I would have. I met some very interesting people on my long jog around London: there was the man wearing only a leopard skin thong (who was the subject of conversation between two teenage...

God Bless St.G

He was French. Pleased to have slept well and even nodded off before George Michael came on Parkinson. Far too excited. I hope it lasts. I'd be grateful for anyone who has a relationship with the main man to pu...

Too smug

I have done no, or little, exercise this week and now both knees hurt, one more so than the other, I feel really tired and have a mild cold. I can't help thinking that I should have gone over to the dark side when I had the chance. ...

Lord Voldemort

He-whose-name-shall-not-be-mentioned telephoned to announce that he was 'on a long lead' and would be keen to help me finish my training in the manner of its starting. I feel rather self-righteous that I was able to shun the allure of the scratch...

Water Bored

I felt I had to share this. It's another reason to doubt 'good advice'. An alleged runner pointed me and my unkown running mates at a website: www.hydraopt.com as a useful tool to help with a hydration strategy. I expected ...

Lardo-loading

Thursday supper: Chinese take away: excellent duck pancakes. Friday lunch: French. Excellent Venison. Saturday supper: Pizza Express, quattro formaggi. Perfectly acceptable. Sunday lunch: All you can eat chines...

It's that man again

I did well up to now, but he tracked me down. He has insisted I don't use his name, but you know who he is. Four pints of Guinness, one packet of dry roasted peanuts and a packet of pork scratchings. When will I learn? Mor...

The other half

Despite having invited four mothers, not all mine, for lunch toworrow and, therefore, needing to hold enormous reserves of energy for the inevitable washing-up mountain, I was dispatched to complete the marathon I began at Silverstone using a rou...

Vernal Equinox

Enjoyed a recovery session tonight. What irony.

A regular James Hunt

Along with several thousand others, 3370 of whom ran quicker than me, I ran the Silverstone half marathon yesterday. I was pleased to have done it because: I got round without stopping, was within a gnat's of my target time, and can still walk. H...

Wired for Sound

The birthday came and went and I now find myself entering my 47th year. Being a lucky boy, I now have an iPod to accompany me on my 'long' runs. (this is what real runners talk about all the time, so I thought I'd join in.) This is necessary to h...

Pass the Vaseline

I first became aware of the chafing outside MacDonalds. Which was disappointing, beacuse: it wasn't raining and so I couldn't blame the soggy bottoms, and it's less than two miles from home. By the Methodist church my knees were remin...

Listen to your body

Very touched by all the kind advice, mostly from non-runners, about strategies for dealing with the various problems I might expect to encounter during the event. I was once advised, by a non-caravan towing motorist, how to deal with ...

First Outing

With a bit of domestic encouragement I set off on my first 10 mile run. It was raining throughout but, apart from having to retie a shoelace at around seven miles, I got home in one go. I think that means I should, with a bit more eff...

Wee Cough

I got the bug thing last weekend and it took me until today to find the energy / lung function to get back on the wheel. It was hard but I felt much better afterwards. I keep telling myself how far 26.2 miles really is (turns out be b...

Normal service resumed

After an eventful journey home, a brief spell of internet fiddling and feeding the progeny, I set off to try some of the more complex buttons on the treadmill. That lead to me legging it up and down (mostly up) some virtual hills until I was the ...

Hamsters

Went to the gym tonight. Busy. Only one hamster wheel available when I started. Loads by the time I had finished. I think mine must have been broken, as everybody else was going down the Mall while I was still looking for Canary Wharf. ...

Delighted

Wonderful response from friends and colleagues to my appeal on behalf of Whizz-Kidz. Really very pleased. Spurred on by the spectre of support turning to ridicule when I peg out on the Isle of Dogs, I managed an aquatic effort this evening. Mild c...