So illness has struck, I have had a terrible virus, apparently it's an inevitable part of training as you're just putting your body through so much, getting run down is not unusual. I think particularly for a marathon, those long runs are something else.
I knew it was coming, had a shakey half marathon a couple of weeks ago that seemed to nosedive over a week or so into full blown illness.
Haven't been able to run for over a week now and missed my last long run before tapering. Naturally it feels like the world's come apart and the end is nigh. If people even mention the 'M' word I'm just freaking out and putting my fingers in my ears like it's not really happening as my stomach lurches over and over!
If it seems like my life's an emotional rollercoaster, it is. Though I always get the fun job of talking myself around! :)
I remember when I cycled to Brighton, I trained as hard as I could, I still wasn't particularly fit, turns out I was doing it on a mountain bike too, which I didn't know at the time was a bloody stupid thing to do, so I guess I wasn't really prepared either. But I did it. The full 56 miles, dragged my ass around whether it like it or not. That's who I know myself to be in the face of a challenge. Did I quit once I'd lost all my healthier friends as they sprinted off ahead? Heck no. Did I quit when that elderly couple on a tandem overtook me much to my embarrassment? Heck no. Did I quit when I fell of my bike, twisted my knee and cried for the last 5 miles from the pain? Heck no. That's what Emily Hull's made of - I need to remember that. Call it determination and stamina or stubborn insanity flying in the face of reality - I've got it in buckets.
Truth be told, I was pretty angry after that race, dissappointed in myself, I hated that bike so much I abandoned it in a park (please don't report me to Brighton council or remind my brother I owe him a bike.....) I am always very hard on myself and have some pretty insane expectations of myself sometimes. On the whole though, the glass tends to stay half full.
I was talking to my 'runner' flatmate about it, she insists 'your training's done, just chill, taper and run it - you're ready'. I've been reading around and found some pretty good blogs & articles on the pre-marathon freak out, which again all seems to be a required part of the experience:
I know I could have trained harder, done more, etc. Still, there go those crazy expectations again - I'm not some pro-athelete trying to take home gold, I just want to make it around and try and enjoy myself as much as possible! So the plan at the moment is:
- Get better and build my strength back up
- Get back on the road
- Trust all the work I have put in
- Trust my increasing portfolio of stamina
- Take it gently on the day, on my own terms and ENJOY MYSELF
Less than three weeks to go!
P.S. If you've enjoyed me bearing my innermost and haven't already, please do sponsor me!! http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=EmilyMHull
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