We are now a few weeks into the small matter of training for the London marathon.
The furthest distance run I've done thus far is 10 miles... Feeling like I've lost all fitness from last year, and a 60 year old has absconded with any semi speed i may have had. plus, this year I'm trying to train by heart rate zones. This is a task all by itself, because i am sure that in order to maintain my pace in a zone 2, I need to crawl.
this whole "storm" situation is really beginning to grate on me... Is it going to be windy in this country now forever?! If so, I am giving up running. gale force is not my forte and completely takes away my joy of running: and if I lose the joy, then what is the point?!
in order to counter act my persisting windy conditions misery; I'm finding that red wine is particularly helpful of an evening, in order to make my loathing of the weather more bearable. So far, this method is most definitely working. Would recommend.
So, in short, I am rather lacking in motivation this year. I've already run a marathon (I use the term "run" rather loosely). Why would I want to endure this pain again? I was not a fan of the distance last time around. I moaned more than I smiled all through training and my body rejected every effort exerted on it by the end.
The answer is simple. Smug self indulgent pride and the ability to boast to lots of people about it and make self sound like paula radcliffes love child.
Also, I keep firmly in the back of my mind; that last year, my beloved grandad had been diagnosed with lymphoma two months prior to the marathon. He was so determined that he would see my run that course, that he said he would postpone treatment, should the doctors need to start before I ran.
Thankfully, his treatment started shortly after the race, so he was able to come and support.
So when I'm having a tough run. Or simply wonder wheher I want to pull out of this event altogether this year because I'm really busy; unfit etc etc, I think of this.
I remind myself that at 68, he dragged his extremely poorly self around london, exhausted himself and surrounded himself with crowds all day which could have delayed his treatment should he have caught a cold.
He, and my nan, and my other amazing friends and family were there at the half way point, where I flung myself into his arms when I saw him at the barrier shouting my name.
i did have tickets for him and my nan, mom and brother for the grandstand to see me finish but due to the crowds they never got there in time.
However, afterward he said to me "i would rather have my hug over seeing you finish anyday, and im so very proud of you".
Well you know what?! Im so very proud of him. He is now fighting fit and all
So every time I want to stop or quit or not go for a run today because it's cold. I remember that every time he wanted to quit, and not go to chemo, or see another hospital or Doctor. He got on with it. To make himself better.
Running makes me better. One step at a time.
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