Kit Binges and the Anxious Mind

Posted on: 10 Jul 2018

Buying all the kit, buying all the kit

I've been bitten by the bug

Take my money, I'm a mug

I'm buying all the kit.

So I've bought myself a running watch. No I've bought two.

WHY? WHY? One is a lovely little Garmin Forerunner 10. A happy chappy of simple construction which doesn't beep at me every 10 seconds, tells me how far I have run, pace, elevation etc. and allows a number nerd like me to be all nerdy, look at my efforts on a flashy graph and feel like Jess Ennis for 10 minutes.

That should be all I need surely yes? I mean, I've made a start, bought Lycra, trainers, acquired a few running shirts and a running bum bag.. so girded my loins so to speak...So why the F did I buy a Fenix?

It's the size of a Galapagos Tortoise to start with. This is to trotters and gallopers what Mission Control is to Major Tom. Firstly I can't turn the beeps off.... The beeps that tell you what your heart rate should be.  Currently it beeps if I am walking to fast or even thinking about running.  It also beeps when I am sitting down.  Maybe it thinks I am on the brink of a heart attack or dead... I don't know!  For someone who doesn't like beeps, whistles, buzzes or anything remotely electronically nagging me. I have a problem. I have Anxiety so anything that remotely looks or sounds like it will chastise me I have arguements with.  You've all met the Chimp so you know what I mean..

Don't get me wrong I love tech and being a numbers nerd it excites me a little to see my efforts on an animated graph but seeing as I am a woman and can't be arsed to do anything more taxing than skim read a big user manual I am not getting the benefit of the magic watch.  It's got threshold wotsits, live share thingy and even has a map GPS capability so people can watch me stagger from the comfort of their armchairs.  Whoa!  Its effectively the dogs danglers of running watches.

Its just another of my "money farts" as I call them.

Decathlon - Just take my money straight out of my bank.  The hypnotising allure of tech tops in rainbow colours and isotonic sports powders.

Beetroot concentrate?  Why? I'm not Non Stafford! It tastes nice but it's not going to make me athletic on top of a pastie and a bitter shandy is it!

..and the side effects.  Woooooh! Lets not go there..

Compression socks ? Eh?  Why again.

Compression Tights and yes, they bloody well are.  Why?

Why can't I just be content to puff along the promenade and park like everyone else? Please don't say I'm turning into a FKW... It's a need to look flashy and competent when I'm not I suspect..

I can't run outdoors with sunglasses on.  Why? Anxiety is why. Why are people LOOKING at me.  "Oh they can tell I'm crap at this"! Whats the difference between running glasses and my usual Lanzarote fakey Oakleys?  about eighteen quid if you're asking.

Pure nonsense you would say and you'd be right.  So, this week has been all about learning. 

Learning that if I can keep a lid on my fevered brain then I don't need all the flashy gear.   I need to remember that I am a woman of a certain age who wore a vest in public and ran a Half Marathon not so long ago.

It's hard to get the trainers on some nights but I am back on the road!

Only I can do my knee in whilst performing a brisk walk on a treadmill so I've had two weeks off.

Big Tall Hit The Wall Paul is back on the prom.  Student Inga and Gok Wan Two too.  All is good.

Even the gym is filling up again with people training for the next lot of 10k's.  My new running partner is a "Doctors Referral" who trains until he goes puce.  Here we go again :)

Take care all.




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