Man Overboard....Tales of a fallen Buzzer

Posted on: 04 Mar 2019

I could have sworn that I've blogged at some point between now and November but it seems not. Quite a lot to catch up on then over the past 4 1/2 months...

All was going pretty well but, as some of you know, I was struck down with a virus towards the end of November. I was exhausted like I'd never experienced before. Then in early December I started getting chest pains which culminated in quite prolonged painful chest pains one morning which had me a little concerned.  I saw my doctor who sent me straight to the hospital who were absolutely amazing.  I had an ECG, chest x-ray, blood test, and various other tests.  They said they thought I had an inflammation of the lining of my heart which wasn't serious but I should take it easy for a while. Hhhhmmm - my 'proper' marathon training was due to start in just over a week.....   

I didn't run at all for about 1 1/2 weeks and felt so rough that I didn't even miss it.  I then eased myself back in gently when I felt a bit better (a week or so before Christmas).  It was hardly the best start to my marathon training.  On a couple of those early long runs I did something that I'd never done before....I just gave up half way round. Not very Buzzer like but my body and mind were having none of it. After the second time this happened (early January) I decided that I should probably forget the Manchester marathon. I was feeling like a failure and disappointed with myself.  But then the Buzzer in me made a pact with myself.  I would try another couple of long runs before making a decision about whether I'd do the marathon or not.  I've entered a half marathon in March so they wouldn't be wasted.  My next run was 13 miles and it went really well.  I was over the moon! Then 15 miles the next week which again was absolutely fine.  Then we had the snow and ice which made the long run challenging and not much fun but it got done.  All was going well and this marathon seemed back on!

...And then it wasn't again. The last couple of weeks I've felt rubbish again.  I don't know if the last virus is still lingering or whether I'm newly not well.  I did a long run a couple of weeks ago which was SUCH a struggle.  Within a couple of days of this I came out in another cold sore (always a sure fire sign that I'm run down when I keep getting them) and just felt generally wiped out.  Even my shorter runs were tough.  I started to agonise over whether to still go for the marathon or not.  I didn't want to give in but I also felt that I had to listen to my body which seemed to be telling me that it's just not up to all this running for hours on end.  Last weekend was the final nail. Work had been ridiculous; I'd not been sleeping well; and by Sunday when I was due to run I got an unwelcome visit from the 'black dog' who pops up for me every now and then.  I spent the morning feeling tearful, down, and beyond tired.  I wasn't physically or mentally capable of going out for a 3 hour run (or any run at all) even though it was a beautiful sunny day.  By late afternoon I had started to feel a bit better and suddenly felt the need to go for a run and to push myself hard.  I did 6 1/2 miles and it made me feel sooooo much better (and I kid you not 2 of the first 3 tracks that came on my shuffled playlist were Donna Summer 'no more tears' and Oasis 'stop crying your heart out'!! Spooky).  I missed my running club session last Tuesday as I still felt ill.  And a 7 mile run with David on Saturday was done but my word it was tough.  So sadly it seems that my body has made my decision for me that I won't be doing the Manchester marathon :-(

I know that I could probably still get round on reduced training but I didn't want to do it to just get round; especially knowing that it will be horrible!  I wanted to train well and be in good shape so that I could do myself proud and enjoy it.  On the plus side I have a half marathon to look forward to on 24 March (if I can focus on getting well by then: lots of sleep and good nutrition will be a good start).  Also I'm looking forward to throwing myself back into my beloved parkruns.

Apologies that this post is so negative. I feel a little nervous about admitting that I've given up as it's not a very Buzzer like thing to do; and to be honest it's not like me to give up either.  But these blogs should be "warts and all" hey?  I will now finally catch up on what everyone else has been up to as well.

 

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