New Year's Resolutions You Should Never Make

The ‘New year, new me’ mentality only works if you actually do it. We’ve all seen the people at the festive parties bragging about the many goals they’ll be committing to, and how they’ll be a totally new person. Most of the time, the idea wears off and they divert back to their old ways. So this is our guide to avoiding the cliche resolutions you definitely shouldn’t try.

1. Quit your job

Surely drunkenly calling your boss up on New Year’s Eve and leaving an abusive voicemail about where they can stick their job is one of the worst New Year’s resolutions you can ever act on? Quitting your job over the festive period is bad news if you don’t have a new job to go to come January. Firstly, it’s bad because after Christmas your savings account is probably looking rather unhealthy. Plus, after the Christmas period lots of people look for new jobs, meaning that the competition for that position you want is going to be tougher than ever.

2. Join a band

Just because the likes of Nirvana started their epic career in a garage, it doesn’t mean you’re going to follow a similar path. Bum notes, cat scratch twangs and excessive feedback are a few things that’ll dominate your playing. Sure, if you’re already an accomplished player, then why not join others in a similar boat. Just don’t go there if the extent of your experience is primary school recorder.

3. Find someone to marry

As you might have guessed, you can’t find a wife or a husband in a catalogue. It’s not an easy business, but if you’ve had your parents nagging you to settle down all Christmas or you’ve been paraded in front of what feels like a hundred happy couples at numerous festive parties, then your desire to find someone to marry might be higher than normal. Yet, love strikes when you don’t expect it. So don’t try to plan to find “the one”; give it time and you’ll find someone when you least expect it.

4. Lose X amount of weight

So, your stomach now jiggles and you seem to have sprouted another chin, but promising yourself that this is the year you lose X amount of weight and get a body that could rival a personal trainer’s is not the answer. Big goals are unrealistic and have to be one of the worst New Year’s resolutions to make. Plus, after all of the indulging you’ve been enjoying, sticking to a healthy diet is harder than ever. Set smaller weight loss goals, like eating out less and going swimming more. You’ll achieve more, we promise.

5. Join a gym straight away

Joining a gym straight away doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to stick to it. Studies have found that 60 per cent of gym memberships go unused and that by mid-February gym attendance has subsided back to the pre-Christmas levels. Instead of joining a gym without a clue as to what you’re supposed to be doing, why not sign up to a gym class or buy a pair of running shoes? These goals will be far easier to stick to and you’ll see more benefits compared to joining the gym.

6. Travel

So you’ve booked a one-way ticket to some far-flung exotic destination. Great; so what about your house, your pets, your job, your partner, your debts? The list goes on and on. Although traveling is great, booking a flight as part of your New Year’s resolution is a bad idea. This is not a decision to be taken lightly. Plus, think about why you want to get away? Is it because you’ve just seen your ex with your best friend at a Christmas party or because you hate the monotony of your life? If it is, remember that traveling won’t sort out these issues and they’ll still be there when you come back.