When the levee breaks.

Posted on: 25 Feb 2018

Hey Buzzers, I'm so ridiculously sorry I have been entirely absent from these hallowed virtual halls lately but I've been having a pretty soul destroying time trying to manage my hip and didn't want to darken the shine with my self flagellation. But we are a team and I need some support so here I return - proverbial tail between my legs and a pair of huge drooping sad eyes up top.

Maddeningly although the hip has not improved dramatically, it has improved a bit from the insane amount of glute strength work I've been doing. Those debilitating spasms I was getting have simmered down but the main issue is now a single point top of my quad (sartorius? psoas? no one can pinpoint it for sure which makes it even more frustrating) that hurts pretty much all the time and will only stop hurting when I rest a few weeks.

Not an option til after Brighton and two other races before it, so like a minor crack in the car windscreen I'm at the pray-it-doesn't-get-any-worse stage. For a few months now. I'm fed up really if I'm being honest. End of my tether and all that.

All that said I still have been able to keep going which is amazing me and my coach and physio alike (so I guess something must be getting better even if I can't see it...) But just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it has. I've now done something to my left heel / peroneus muscles same as I did a few years ago which is not manageable other than RICE. I've got no time whatsoever for RICE. I can't bear the thought of dropping any races so jury is still firmly out.

The twinge came after last weekend's 14 miler but settled in during the 'out' leg of a very painful 9.5 miles yesterday. Once again I can't wear any shoes that press on my heel or I'm gritting my teeth. I'm fairly certain the Hokas are to blame for the heel as I've only had this problem once the last time I was training in Hokas, so I think the cushioning is just too extreme and I haven't got the muscle in the right places to stabilise my foot correctly in them. Disappointment is an understatement. (Mostly because those were awfully comfortable shoes!) but it's officially game over for the second pair now. A small part of me wants to take a pair of shears to them and kill them completely...

Needless to say I'm well up my own back end right now and fighting like hell to see the way out of it. Running is my rescue from life's problems and without it (and with life still being it's typical problematic self) it's a bit more aggro than usual. So I'm still planning to race next weekend mostly because why not, I am usually suffering in every race anyway so what else is new? (mean old levee, taught me to weep and moan...) but I know it's going to be far from the start I planned to have this year which is by and large the most disappointing thing of all. I have been running for 5 years and I may as well have started five days ago. I feel pathetic and weak.

If I run during the week it will only get worse so it's core work in the gym, rest and roll, hold my breath and remember what I've managed to fight through already. Beyond that I'll keep the rest of the self-flagellation in my head for now as I was going so well and it's such a massive crash and who wants to hear any more of this giant pity party?

So latest answer to to the question in my last blog: What would you do if you weren't afraid? Well, I'd race anyway. I'd expect a hella pain. I'd create a power walking playlist, just in case, like I always do.

I'd go forth and buzz. Like I always do.

There may be a primal scream, or four. 

See you on the other side. Bring KT Tape, Nurofen, your recommendations for good trail shoes (since mine are going to be in bits in 3-2-1) and ALL the Guinness. I'll even share. 

Tell us your story

Inspire and be inspired by sharing your health or fitness journey. Your blog will provide you with a permanent record of your progress, with the added bonus of motivation and encouragement from our members along the way.

* Manage my blogs