I have not run since last September... sometime last autumn I had it in mind to be somewhere near fit enough for a marathon by now but a sharp dive in confidence and happiness put paid to that.
My chimp (inner monster and downright unruly thug who rules my anxiety levels) decided to kick my backside for a few months. A few weeks turned into a few months, then winter kicked in and it was near impossible to run without having a very cheap dermabrasion session care of Swansea Bay sand. HOWEVER a week of sunshine seems to have lifted the gloom, swept away the smog of anxiety and depression and kickstarted my keep fit inner diva. I have sixteen weeks to train for a half marathon.
My running reverse stalker BTHTWP (Big, Tall Hit The Wall Paul) has been sighted buying cocoa nibs and goji berries in Tescos. "Doctors Referral" has been sighted in orange lycra at the Park Run. "Ladies that Lunch" were seen at the St David's Day food festival tasting Gin. Its time to get back out there.
The whole reason I started blogging was not for attention or something do whilst perusing Sportspursuit or sipping wine in my new Brooks running daps, it was to simply to talk or write about something that interests me. I have trouble talking. Talking about anything actually. Something inside me stops. Its either a symptom of or the cause of my "chimp" problems.
Thankyou for listening so far!
Exercise has helped my mental twinges over and over and now its time to improve my mind as well as my soul again.
If you have Anxiety - I know you. I know how you are feeling and I know how you are thinking. I know how you feel pulling on the compressions tights (yes, they bloody well are), panicking about headphones, panicking about the lycra or lack of it, panicking about whether you are going to have a heart attack, vomit or need to pee every 500 yards, panicking about having a crap time, crap technique, crap face or whether those people are laughing at you or not.
This panicking will stop. Soon you'll care less. Soon you'll work out how to use your fancy schmancy running watch without having a cry, you'll work out what drinks mix doesn't set your IBS off, you'll look foxy in your running kit and that little beast that keeps you awake at night will come under control. YOUR control.
This is how it goes.
I ramble about on here whilst rambling about the roads and paths of Swansea. You're welcome to ramble on with me. Tell me your tales.
I've got plenty to tell you. I have a new running watch (yes another fluffing one) a new reverse running stalkers -Doctors Referral and Competitive Ex Friend.
It all starts NOW for me.
Time to get sandblasted.
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