Wednesday 27th September Training Session Two
It had been two days of deep thought and reflection whilst surveying a wad of tips from swimming experts online. The massive shock of the first day had been on my mind throughout this time. Surely it would improve on the second swimming session…I had to be positive.
Same routine on arrival and the same man as on Monday had beaten me into the pool. Whilst I was changing a young man came in to change and told me that the lady cashier wanted to see me before I left as she had been short changed by 30 stotinki. I said I’d see here on my way out and made my way to the pool for the start of another session.
A different young woman lifeguard was on duty today and was much more in attendance and observant then the one on Monday without young male distractions. Mind you, Monday’s lifeguard was much prettier!
The swimming cap and goggles again was giving me some concern, I just couldn’t get away from feeling claustrophobic and the feeling was worse than Monday as the google now seeped water and steamed up. This didn’t happen on Monday although I do recall wiping a bit of washing up liquid inside the googles as this prevented steaming up and it worked. I forgot to do this today although I can’t explain the water seepage. My nervousness suddenly rose when I first tried to do a simple breaststroke and panic set in before the end of the first length and I had to stop. The thought of putting my head under water now was a serious issue, I just couldn’t bring myself to do that and I don’t know why. I think the cap and goggles definitely had something to do with it. Before in many hotel spa centre pools and in the slated open waters of Black Sea itself these weren’t great issues. This now was a plague of fear that I had to get rid of somehow but where do I start?
Just a simple exercise of ducking expelling air and rising out of the water to inhale was taken up. This was one of the tips I picked up online the day before. Five minutes of this and I felt a little more relaxed daring myself to try the freestyle again. I lasted nearly a length with panic breathing every two strokes on the left which I felt more comfortable with than the right. Perseverance had to be made with other failures and having to stop due to water in the nose, out of breath from exhaustion and an increasing overwhelming of anxiety after each stroke. It was a terrible feeling not having the facility or technique to train as I thought I might before I first started. The training programmes that are waiting in the wings would have to wait a while until have mastered at least a length of the pool in freestyle without baling out from panic attacks from all angles.
I finished the session with a couple more breast stokes lengths trying to relax and get the anxiety out of my system. This didn’t really work as my mind was primarily fixed on bad experiences earlier. Putting this into a looking ahead context, how on earth would I cope with deep water and crowded swimmers let alone the distance required with the said event?
It was only a 30 minutes session again today and to be quite frank far worse that Monday due to an increased fear of inhaling water and breathing causing panic. This will need to be worked on before any other form of training can continue. To be quiet honest I need help and a coach or trainer would perhaps be beneficial, but for the meantime it will have to be an online coach. There is a little trickle of reassurance from the fact that this is only the second session and there are 8 months to the event. I also think that I know the problem and at least that is a starting point knowing what problems to solve. Giving up isn’t one of the option despite the big step back in confidence since starting training.
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