TheTrain, Pain, Gain Game by AndyP_1973

Hello

Today is Tuesday 1st December and this is the start of my blog.   All being well, the life expectancy of this blog is 217 days - it's set to take its last breath on July 5th 2010: the day after I become Half an Iron Man.   Or, a “HIM”, as they say in Iron Man circles where I'm hoping to revolve.   A HIM is a 1900m swim, followed by a 92km cycle and a capped off with a 21km run.   Can't wait....

Doing a blog like this is a bit old hat.   Looking around internet blog sites it looks like a quarter of the world's population are in training for a marathon or some other boundary-pushing event.  Hardly a week goes by without me getting an email from someone asking for sponsorship as they’re about to bounce up Kilimanjaro on a pogo stick or row across the English channel in a washing-up bowl to raise money for the Save the Chilean Hummingbird Association, or similar good cause.

Maybe it's something about modern life, some lack of substance in our existences, which makes people want to venture into areas they don't normally go. In my case, a place I don’t normally go means 'Milton Keynes’, which is where next year's HIM will take place.   I've signed up for the Cowman 2010: http://www.big-cow.com/public/race.aspx?id=957

Now, come July 2010, the synopsis of this blog will be either:

(read with American accent in an insanely deep voice)

1) A heart-warming story of an everyday family man in everyday England who thought he had everything, and one day, decided he wanted more! (accompanied by shot of man ripping off his tie, throwing briefcase into a bush, and diving headlong into a lake to do some frenzied front crawl). A man who threw himself on the line to be mangled up by the Success Express and dragged down the tracks to Winner Central. (shot of man, drenched in sweat, grimacing with determination and pain, ducking to break the tape at the finish line of the “Cowman 2010”, in front of rapturous crowd (3 children, a woman and a small dog)) A man who metaformis… who metamafos… who transformed himself from a slightly out of shape Call Centre Product Manager (shot of suited man pausing on reaching the top of a flight of stairs to wipe sweat from brow before munching into a large doughnut) into Herculean (said quietly) Half (said loudly) Iron Man!" (shot of irrepressibly handsome man doing one armed press-ups and then kissing his baby-oiled guns).

Or

2) He wanted it all, but ended with nothing!  The story of one's man flawed plan to cram a ridiculously over-ambitious training program into an already manic life, armed only with a positive mental attitude and a slightly dodgy knee. A story of lethargy, injury and a fair amount of shouting.” (shot of podgy man tying to squeeze into a running vest whilst shouting at his small children who are approaching him innocently with their reading books)

Why bother doing a HIM?

Well, I'd been mulling over a “what can I do next?” question ever since I did the London triathlon in August 2008.   Since when a few things have happened:

1. I've failed to stick to a regular exercise programme.

2. All my suit trousers have become officially “snug fit”

3. My pecs have left home and a couple of moobs are camped on the front lawn threatening to move in.

And although, at the risk of appearing defeatist, I think the chance to represent GB in the Olympics might well have slipped by, there are still a few other reasonably sensible reasons for taking on a new challenge:

1. Just to see if I'm tough enough!
2. To get fit whilst I still have hair.  Clock ticking...
3. To participate in a 9 month experiment (with me as chief scientist and subject). Given a person can change how they think through changing their physiology, I’m interested to see what affect it has on my life.  

Confucius say; "Give a man a cake and a TV and watch mind and body grow flabby. Make man run and swim a lot, and see him get huge pay rise through a paradigm shift in his mind-set which facilitates a series of fortunate career breaks culminating in him becoming CEO of a major multinational company."   (He also said something about itchy backsides and smelly fingers as I recall from my school days, so the guy knows what he’s talking about).

First steps of a long march

And so now my thoughts turn to how I'm going to do this. How to get organised, get started and keep motivated. The first thing I have decided to do is keep a blog, a personal record of my travails over the next 200 daysr. On top of that, and no self-respecting wannabee athlete is complete without one, will be my geeky training spreadsheet chronicling every mile, metre, minute and heart beat.   Something to read to the children when they misbehave.

And so starts my journey. My solitary pilgrimage to the church of self improvement, via the long, winding road of endurance, with an occasional picnic on the blanket of despair, nibbling on the quiche of fatigue...