Really disappointed, but I did it!
Apr2820098:53 p.m.
Despite the euphoria I felt crossing the line on Sunday my race was tinged with diasppointment. Without boring you with the yukkiness of it all, I have had a recurrent little toe problem since doing my long runs - basically lots of really horrible hard skin that then gets really REALLY sore! I have used various different lotions and potions, had my trainers checked and checked again, and its kind of been ok, then not. So you can imagine how totally fed up I was on Sunday when it was total bloody agony. Despite my best efforts it was still hurting.
So I dressed it etc etc and when I put my trainers on, Oh god it hurt! Just nerves I thought! And if nothing else it would go numb after a few miles!
Really enjoyed the start and all the party atmoshere etc etc and started at a good steady pace - aiming for a 5-5.30 finish which was easily achievable after all my training.
At mile 13 I was in SO much pain I nearly considered dropping out and it had taken me 2hs44 to get to half way - 15mins longer than I hoped. I had to adopt a walk/run approach and I was in tears - not only with the pain but with the immense disappointment. My legs felt as fresh as daisies, and my heart was working really well, but my toe felt like it was on fire and bleeding, never felt pain like it.
I had a really good cry, and thought about all my training and fundraising and thought b****ks, I'm not going to let everyone down so carried on, but SOOO slow. The only up points from there were the fact that I overtook Katie Price and Peter Andre (she was soo miserable!) then when I saw my wonderful other half at 22 miles I collapsed into his arms in tears.
If it hadn't been for him I would have given up then an there - god I love him for that. So I carried on, in the most pain ever and feeling so low about my time. All that training and I was WAY off where I wanted to be.
Oh god, the crowds were FANTASTIC!! I have never experienced anything like it. Walk/run to mile 25, then I thought, stuff this, I am not walking the last mile of my marathon and in total agony I ran home! As I tunrned the corner to the finish line I wept again, in pain, excitement and sheer exhaustion. What a feeling - despite all of my disappointments on the way it was without doubt the most fantastic feeling in the world!!
So that why I haven't posted my blog for so long, because I am so embarrassed by my 6hrs and 3 min finish time!! Everyone I know, apart from the racing snakes, have said it was a fantastic achievement, and I know it was, but I am still embarrassed by my time........
So, there is only one way to rectify this - well two actually! (1)Went to GP yesterday and she confirmed some weird named infection in my toe and I have anti b's and cream for it and (2) I have registered on the VLM website for next year - to prove to myself that I can do what I originally wanted!
So, in the meantime my goals are these - shed 2 stone in weight, train hard for the Gt North Run on 20th Sept to get a new PB and the keep everything crossed for October and that I get a ballot place - can't do the charity thing again, people will start avoiding me!!
Finally, a huge thank you to all of you who have taken the time to read my blog and keep me going with your kind words and support - couldn't have done it without you all. And a special hug to Suz - thanks honey!xxx
Hope to see you all again next year xxx
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Comments (12)
mel_watson 'Well done, the main is you finished, you wasn't that far behind me. ' added 28th Apr 2009
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Highmileage 'Sorry to hear about your toe. I read your bio and you sound pretty amazing to me, and now your a marathon finisher to boot. Well done!! I hope you'll do it again, it only gets better! ;)) ' added 28th Apr 2009
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Andrea_1 'You really, really should not feel embarrassed or disappointed in your time!! You were incredibly brave to carry on in all that pain, to get to the finish and collect your medal. WELL DONE!!! You also have a very good chance of getting a new PB next year, when you will be able to run without injury and find your true potential. I'm full of admiration for you.x' added 28th Apr 2009
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Alaistair 'Very well done indeed, you stayed on your feet for 6 hours!! Good grief, very few people could do what you did on Sunday.....You crossed that finish line - be very proud.....Good for you!' added 28th Apr 2009
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Clouseau 'Don't you dare be disappointed - that's an order! In so many ways your achievement eclipses all the PBs and fast times. I had pain for about a mile and a half and boy did I make a fuss over it. But I know how miserable it made me feel so I can't imagine how you made it to the end. Was there ever an option to get one of the St J's to cut out a piece of your running shoe in the area of the affected toe? God knows they're expensive enough but might have been a consideration. Sounds like a visit to a proper podiatrist might be a good idea; sounds like a nasty infection that you don't want a repeat of. Anyway HUGE congratulations - I bet your colleagues make a big fuss of you (I assume the toe has kept you off work). Good luck with your next set of goals and lets' hope we're both doing this all again next year! Rich x' added 28th Apr 2009
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Nick 'But you made it though and you can certainly be proud of yourself for that. And you beat Katie Price to boot!' added 28th Apr 2009
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DonnaD 'Hey, well you beat me by about 20 minutes so don't beat yourself up! Tower Bridge was my nemesis too - my knees gave up and left me there and I found myself walking a lot of the second half despite being on target for a 5.5 hours until then. I am a bit disappointed about the time but I finished so who cares? And I have entered that ballot again already!! Remember, it's a PB for you and next year will probably be another PB. ' added 28th Apr 2009
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vickibombicki 'oh thats brilliant!!! well done on suffering all that,and well done on getting in the ballot! hope the toes ok :) x' added 28th Apr 2009
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shazzer 'Oh Charlie, don't be disppointed, lots and lots of people where way off with their times for one reason or another and you showed great resolve in finishing, dropping out would have been the easier option. Well done. ' added 28th Apr 2009
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peterb 'Your a member of the marathon runners club now , be proud not dissapointed , you dug deep and got round , well done . And it was bloody hot out there too.' added 29th Apr 2009
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kraftykat 'Hey Charlie, don't be at all disappointed. You have done FANTASTIC. To have carried on while you had such pain is amazing. I would certainly have given up long before that finish line, as would hundreds of other people. You have achieved something that a very small number of people would even attempt and you should be very proud of that. And don't forget - you were only 6 mins behind me! Good luck in the ballot for next year. Alison x' added 29th Apr 2009
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Lackadaisical_Plodder 'Love you, were going to beat this crappie old time together....' added 1st May 2009
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