Repeat after me..
Never again never again never again! Never!
Why do we put ourselves through this? People keep asking me did I enjoy it? NO! I enjoyed the training, I love running, but towards the end I didn't like the pressure of having to go out for so long. The reason I love running is because I can go out and run- run away from whatever is bothering me, run in the woods, on the road, anywhere, as long as I am moving. No pressure. I feel strong and fit...I feel that if someone was chasing me I could run away!
The week running up to the marathon was no fun. I didn't sleep, I worried I had not done enough. I was a rubbish Mother as I spent hours getting hints and tips on what to eat, what time to get there, and EATING! The day before the marathon I spent at the Excel and then in Stratford shopping, then I had a paddy that I had been shopping all day! I went to bed early but was still awake at 1am only to get up at 5am to have porridge! I honestly wanted to go home.
The run itself I found tricky as there were too many people and I could not run at my natural pace. I got elbowed, jostled and ran a lot on the pavement. The last 6 miles were hell. Really tough and only my mental strength got me through. Then after the race I stiffened up but was not tired at all. Then the crowds getting out of London- and the pain of the steps at the tube station!!!
So why do I find myself preparing to enter the ballot again and searching for other marathons? Do I enjoy torturing myself? Does anyone? That secret part of me that is always saying 'You can do better'.
Somebody shake me! Tell me no! But do it gently as I am still a little fragile, and know that I won't listen to you anyway.
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