Viva la Choice
“The mind commands the body and it obeys. The mind orders itself and meets resistance.”
I don’t like being told what to do. Never have, probably never will. As soon as I perceive (through someone or even myself) that I should “do, feel, or think” a certain way (and it’s imagined in a “Catholic school nun” tone), I feel my all-too-familiar inner bully, resistance, appear. It pushes my freedom buttons, to which I internally respond by digging my heels in the ground.
My earliest memory of my struggle with resistance was when I was about four years old and at Dr. Gardiner’s office for my annual check-up. Dr. Gardiner told my Momma that he needed a urine sample so she marched me into the bathroom, sat me on the toilet, and ordered me to “tinkle” in a little cup. I defiantly said, “No, I don’t have to go.” Not skipping a beat, Momma responded, “Well okay then. I guess we’ll just have to go home and come back when you do have to go.” With that said, I tinkled.
Resistance can occur any time you feel like you have to, must, or should do something, real or imaginary. It can occur even when you really care about or want something. Indeed, realbuzz friends, the added burden of resistance can make achieving healthy living goals (or any goal) more of a struggle than it needs to be.
Have you ever enthusiastically started an exercise regime or new eating plan, only to lose your gusto midstream? That energy drain is usually caused by resistance. What happens is that somewhere along the way, your extra-curricular project starts to feel like a J-O-B. The insidious cycle starts when you start “shoulding” on yourself. I should run farther, faster, more often . . . (fill in the blank). All the “shoulds” cause you to stop feeling at-choice (and energized) and start feeling pressured (and exhausted).
How might you stop resistance – especially when you are your own authoritarian – before it stops you?
Hale Dwoskin author of The Sedona Method suggests a simple three step method called releasing. When doing this exercise, realbuzz friends, keep in mind that there are no right answers (or “shoulds”).
Step 1: Begin thinking of something you believe you should do, must do, have to do, or is important to do. Notice how you tighten up inside and push back.
Ask yourself: Could I welcome this feeling of resistance? Can I just allow it to be here?
Step 2: Ask yourself one of the following questions: Could I let go of this resistance? Could I allow myself to feel resistance in this moment? Could I welcome the feeling of resistance?
Then ask: Would I? When?
Step 3: Repeat steps 1 and 2 until you feel released.
You too can stop making things harder than they need to be, realbuzz friends. Viva la choice! The next time you feel your inner Sisyphus, ease off the pressure and effortlessly soar.
How about you realbuzz friends? What are your experiences of resistance? Do you feel it most from others or yourself? How might you use the concept of releasing to help you to take a load off?
Until next time . . . a twinkling Mare