Spotting on the Sandbach to Chester Railroad by wyleu

Those hard working folks at the University of Ellesmere Port have, after considerable research stretching as far as Southport have identified a previously unrecognised biological phenomenon. This i the appearance of the Chimbo.

A peculiar primate sub-species that tends to congregate in mid sized towns, often in clumps of two or three, where they tend to move around at  low speed emitting small shrill noises but almost completely unresponsive to external physical stimuli.

After the researchers isolated a pair of these creatures in a tank in the Universities basement they were discovered to be capable of leaving almost entirely on highly specified coffee products as long as it was made with skimmed milk and had an exotic sounding name ending in o.

After two weeks of constantly scuttling round the tank it was found that they rested if provided with celebrity magazines from which they can construct a crude nest, where they were found to be perfectly content as long as their cage featured two mirrors and a window display of constantly changing handbags and shoes. Progress has been made in communication made however when it was discovered that mobile phone messages can be used to steer them throu' complex mazes by carefully timed texts mentioning new shopping opportunities supposedly close to their present positions.

One of the creatures was antheatatised with suitably laced low fat pastry and after considerable genetic decoding it was discovered that their makeup was a mixture of human primate and sea squirt, probably the result of some over enthusasiastic finding one's self after a successful completion of a Social sciences degree at a fairly well respected red brick university.

The sea quirts ability to dissolve it's brain in the later stages of it's life has transplanted across and means that this species is incapable of focussing on any subject for more than two minutes making them ideal for careers in front of camera on regional news items, where in the later stage of the regression they are able to attach themselves to comfortable sofas in TV studios where they moult daily into a completely new outfit and can talk about children and kittens for upwards of an hour. 

Little can be done to reverse the process, and indeed they have become protected, because it has been discovered that upwards of 80% of the economy of most English high street shops is directly attributable to their purchases.